Master’s is hard but Quarantine is harder! 23 March 2020, UK on Lock down! till….??/??/????
The fear of the unknown…Reflecting on my self isolation experience so far, in relevance to my academia (PDP 2).
“…Yes, this is the new UK
but best believe, we will be ok.”
I never saw it coming, you know.. A degree in BSc (Hons) Nutrition and Health directly to a master program in MSc Food Bioscence at GCU. I was just about catching my breath and now Corona-virus and then a lock down meaning self isolation! Despite this, life continues, including University curriculum. The most challenging part for me has been working from my flat, with my bed next to me, easy to fall back to sleep. On a normal day, 95% of my coursework are done on Campus (my student accommodation have no common study area and the kitchen is quite small, with no study table). So when I heard about the official lock down I completely had a break down thinking I will not meet my assessments deadlines and I might fail this year. During this period my laptop also broke but thankfully I got one from a friend few days after. I have experienced hundreds of emotions within these isolation period and I wish my assessments can wait. However, the University has been quite understanding, as submission dates has been extended by a week and this opportunity I should make use of.
At the beginning of this self isolation, I have experienced several emotions such as the fear of things changing for the worst, most especially in my studies. Despite this, I have seen myself being thankful for life and steadily embracing this period; focusing on strategies to get my assessments completed within the given period. However, I often get overwhelmed because I overthink and I also tend to struggle to write what I read, academically, probably due to my lack of confidence in my grammar. For example, I tend to find myself reading more articles rather than writing on time, which often leads me to procrastination. Although this as contributed to wider reading in my academics, as I spend more time reading articles. However it has affected my plan for other coursework as I tend to find myself re-planning my timetable to meet assessment deadlines which gives me less time on some assessment and could have affected my grades consistency. Now, I tend to do the reading, copy and paste in a word document following a writing plan. Then I use this to rewrite my essay by hand and then type it up. I tend to think faster when I hand write compared to typing, of which reasons I am not sure of.
Honestly, I just wish University can pause and I can be with my family for a minute, but I guess that’s not my reality. Completing my coursework is of high priority and I worry over getting bored working in one space continuously. However, going home will hinder me from working as I’ll spend time with my family. This few days I’ve worked by my accommodation staircase, in order to feel a difference and finalise my poster which I presented online. Although I got the work done, I was uncomfortable sitting on the floor. I have continued to be resilient, building myself in God’s words and holding on to hope for a better future. Despite the tiny voice of doubts in my head as this isolation gets longer. At the same time, it reoccur to me that I am not experiencing this isolation period alone and I feel the need to stay strong for others. However it is hard as I know some are with their family and some are alone away from home like myself. I have been re-shifting my focus to others, most especially my tutors. I have been more concerned about my tutors as I know this is a difficult time for them having to reschedule and adjust to online teaching (even if this is expected of them, it’s challenging and as humans, we do not know it all, but we learn each day) while still concern about their family safety. This also apply to me and mostly everyone during this period. Therefore the best I can do is to look out for my tutors, families and friends. This has help me to work harder so as not to disappoint them, most especially my tutors. For example, I am happy when I cook for my friends and they give positive feedback so I applied that to my tutors. I imagine they will be happy when their students put in effort, make progress, and excel. This is important for them to feel fulfilled. This motivates me to endeavor to complete my work to a good standard such as editing my reference list to the required standard and looking through the mark scheme, as it will be a disappointing moment and probably upsetting for the tutor to see no effort put in by their students. I often think they are super humans the way they come across professional. However, I had a rethink when our skill module tutor read her blog reflection to the class. This reflected her thought process. This communicated to me that humans are naturally emotional, however this is to be controlled in a professional setting.
During this period I have attended online class sessions including Skills module session for PDP 2 (30/3/20: week 10) of which I became frustrated at the start due to technical difficulties. However during this period I remained patient and continued to participate until I figured out why the video was on default and reset it. After the session I took few minute to look through the green PDP booklet. Looking through the transferable skills it asked me to state the skills I have improved on since PDP 1 and how (Check my previous blog for better understanding). I thought to myself, four week is too short to develop new skills with University workload. Then it reoccurred to me that ADAPTABILITY, IT skills and RESILIENCE are the only skills I could add to the list since the past four week. I have continuously practice other skills such as teamwork as part of Glasgow Caledonian University Nigeria society event planner as I joined the online call this week. New committees were welcomed to the group. Due to quarantine most lectures are now online and I have used Apps such as collaborate ultra and zoom for University presentation and other life activities events which was successful. I have had to adapt to working in my room 100% of the time, which has been challenging for me and still is but I have continued to inconvenient myself to make progress. Sometimes I switch my studying position (from my bed, to my table ares and to the floor). However, I recently submitted one of my coursework during the quarantine period. I felt happy submitting and delivering this presentation, I became more hopeful of the future presentation and other assessment upcoming. However, I soon became overwhelmed knowing I have more coursework to submit in less than a month including my project thesis. Although, I have continuously taken time to re-plan as I tend to procrastinate, now taken a break off social media till the completion of my assignment. This is challenging as I am used to using my phone but anything important will come via call, phone messages and emails. I have downloaded some game app as well as You-tube to keep me entertained.
This semester has been quite challenging. Although I struggle to appreciate this challenges right now, I understand that growth only happen if I challenge myself. University life is like a roller coaster and this lock down period made me appreciated my friends more, as we uplift one another. Not only true words, but seeing others on Campus get on with their work motivates me, the building motivates me as it is titled a place for studying. Therefore, I will miss them for the period I am off social media, however I understand that my procrastinating self need to do this to ensure work that has been left behind are completed. I understand this season is here to challenge me, shape me and build me, just like this master program. My Degree was more of Food Nutrition and Anatomy and having to learn microbiology and Biotechnology on a structural level has been challenging as some terminology I do not understand. I feel incapable sometimes and when I see the level of my classmate understanding it makes me feel left out. It seems I am the only one with minimal chemistry or Bioscience background. However, I am sure everyone have their struggles. A lot of things are new to me on this program but I have refused to give up considering why I am here in the first place, the tuition fee and my family. I have decided to remain persistent despite the negativity. I hope that I complete this semester as I continue to put in my effort even when I do not feel like as it’s been a long month without any long break (not up to 3 weeks if I am nit underestimating). I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog, this is a bit long…. I am beginning to focus on developing myself by watching educational You tube videos. There are more negativity in the News than ever about Coronavirus. However, I will focus on the positives; those who have recovered, the countries who are Virus free and the precautions and efforts of the governments and myself as individual by hand washing, minimal outing and fighting fear (fear kills faster!). I have learnt that every seconds we are yet to experience is a misery. I think I know so much about what I want to be but isn’t it so ironic how life itself tells us we are powerless. I cannot even leave my house more than certain times in a day. I wish not to take each seconds for granted but I guess that is human nature. I mean we only miss the sun when it starts to snow.. I have less time for my family now as my priority changes but I hope that time works in my favor, so as to achieve my dreams, of which completing my Master’s degree is one out of many. By God’s Grace, I remain focus as I acquire new skills through this period.
The purpose of this blog is to be truly transparent, to reflect, rethink and relearn. My thought process might show my weakness but my strength truly lies in my ability. I am no superwoman but I aim to continuously be resilience, enthusiastic and most importantly, a believer of this popular phrase “ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE, THROUGH CHRIST JESUS.” You can do this!
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