I am a young Nigerian woman, who have lived in the UK for about 8 years now. I lived in the country side and a Caucasian dominated environment all through the years before moving to the city in Glasgow, Scotland, UK for my Masters of recent this year, 2019/20. I have spent 2 years of my Undergraduate attending a Caucasian church. I respected everyone but I got used to greeting individual older than me using “Hi or Hello” How are you doing?” How was your week?”, just like the Caucasians do. One day here in Glasgow, I attended my first black church since I visited the UK and I greeted a black Nigerian elderly by saying “Hi” and he did not respond. However, majority responded to my greeting prior to this moment that day. I also noticed later on when another person greeted him “Good Afternoon sir” he responded, so I tried that and he responded.
I was surprised he responded, even with a smile (maybe he was happy for a different reason) and I soon realised he was a typically Nigerian man and might have taken my way of greeting as a form of disrespect. I became unhappy with myself knowing that I am aware of the typical Nigeria way of greeting but did not pay attention to my environment to even practice it or maybe I was used to the Caucasian way of greeting that I find it challenging to switch. However, I was glad that my instinct ensured I figured out why he did not respond to my greeting without knowing him or holding grudges. I thought maybe he did not hear me but I also knew my voice was loud and clear. It is always important to clarify and justify what I was feeling at that moment, so as to solve the puzzle. I learnt that it is important I remain sensitive and aware to my environment, most especially culturally which I find myself doing everyday, back and forth, in University and in Church. Quite different and challenging sometimes. Although some Nigerians are understanding but some are more traditional and respect their culture. I was pleased that I realised soon enough that this was an important factor to some and that I could practice it as a sign of respect.
“Culture is the name or what people are interested in, their thoughts, their models, the books they read, and most importantly the speeches they hear.” My way of speaking also shows what I believe in. I respect individuals and it is often shown through my gesture mainly smile which is why I have resorted in the cultural gesture of a Nigerian to greet and elderly. This is by kneeing down but outdoor it is done by kneeing without the knees touching the ground. I found out that this helps me think about my word before saying them as “Hi” will not follow a knee gesture, as it is a high level of respect, so it will be assemble by a word such as “Good afternoon sir.” “How are you sir”. I have also learnt to respect other black most especially elderly by addressing them the same way to avoid giving the wrong impression of disrespect.
Looking back I think the man was calm enough to not have responded as he could have seen it as a disrespect but as a church member he was calm about it. He was old enough to be my father. Therefore, he could have said why am I been disrespectful, but he remained calm by ignoring my greeting which helped me realised something must be wrong. However thinking about it now, maybe he actually did not hear me greet him the first time and heard me the second time? But I felt like I could feel it in his eyes the way he looked at me when I greeted him the first time like “What is wrong with this one, I’m I your mate?”. I think I also felt maybe I have greeted him wrongly, so I wanted to know what was the right way or if that was why he did not responded. I have gotten use to greeting my parent casually such as Daddy! or Morning Dad or Hello!! that I get away with it but I realised I still use phrases like “Sir or Ma” when they call me and I respond. So, I know it is important to be more conscious of it, especially as a black woman who are placed in the society to portray a high level of respect. Therefore, in the future I will focus on being more sensitive to my new environment as I was but taking extra precautions before altering words and thinking about them over if it come across as offensive or not, while I study the people and culture closely.
Written on the 20th of March 2020.
Image acknowledgement (normal greeting culture in Nigeria).
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